I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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