Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
