Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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