I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Randomize
