girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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