just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think a kid would responsible me up
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
