This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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