That's when you crack a 10am beer
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
