ugly people sure do ruin things
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
