ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
