the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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