It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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