my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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