You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
honey bunches of taint.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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