thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
