dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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