Pants 0. Shit 1.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
