Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm really into asian looking animals
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
