He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I supernannyed him into submission
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
