we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
