have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
