she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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