she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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