I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
