You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
