Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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