he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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