im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i barfeds in our rink
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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