He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
