This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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