Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The adults are the big ones right?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
