Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
