He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
