If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
