I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
