it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
