do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
