AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
