Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Alive.
So much puke
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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