Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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