your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
