just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
