whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
