he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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