I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
