My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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