I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
