Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...

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(573): View more from Missouri

This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...

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(830): View more from Texas

You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy

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(520): View more from Arizona

So you had sex with my brother?

(1-520): View more from Arizona

It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns

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(203): View more from Connecticut

No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.

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(817): View more from Texas

I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I just snorted sandwich everywhere.

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope it smells nice :)

(440): View more from Ohio

IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.

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