U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
