guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
kristin has been a bad kristin
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
